SWINGING: A PRACTICAL GUIDE. WHAT IS THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN "SWINGERS WANNABE's", "NEWBIES", "EXPERIENCED SWINGERS" and "SEASONED SWINGERS?"
~Writer and wife have over 17 years of experience in the Swinging Lifestyle and married for 26 years ~ This article is copyright Bar-Loose.com© 2007. All rights reserved.~This writing is intended for newbies and couples with a desire to become lifestylers, and for singles and others who wish to have a better understanding of the Swinging Lifestyle; Experienced and Seasoned Swingers are advised to apply their own experiences and to continue doing what works for them in every situation and/or to adopt recommendations made here as desired.
SWINGING: A PRACTICAL GUIDE. WHAT IS THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN "SWINGERS
WANNABE's", "NEWBIES", "EXPERIENCED SWINGERS" and "SEASONED SWINGERS?"
Indeed, this is a very large and complex question; not easily answered. Unless we are able to answer a whole lot of other questions we'll never know what "Swinging" is all about. The wide apread idea that "SWINGERS" are wife/husband "Swappers" is the most common believe and the easiest way to answer the question without getting into a lot of intricate details. But in reality, "Swapping" is not the same thing as "SWINGING". "Swapping" is too simplistic a word which doesn't even begin to define the "SWINGERS" culture or sub-culture, if you are more comfortable with the latter.
A brief historical account, (how the phrase "wife swapping" came about)
[As far as anyone knows, swinging (as this community exists today, in the United States) had its roots amongst an elite group of U.S. Air Force fighter pilots during World War II. These men were wealthy enough to move their wives close to base, and the fact that their fatality rate was the highest of any branch of service led to an unusual social milieu in which non-monogamy between these pilots' wives and other pilots became acceptable. These arrangements persisted near Air Force bases throughout World War II and into the Korean War.
By the time the Korean War ended, these groups had spread from the bases to the nearby suburbs. The media picked up on them in 1957 and promptly dubbed the phenomenon "wife-swapping" Although the media didn't treat this new phenomenon respectfully, the public's response made it clear that they wanted to hear more. By 1960, there were over 20 widely-available magazines which carried "swinger" ads. These magazines provided a medium through which the first swinger parties could advertise themselves, and the first permanent clubs began appearing in the late 1960's]
Any marriage or relationship where both parties have already decided,
1. that their love life is not what it "used" to be,
2. that they are bored with, and of each other,
3. that they have slowly, but surely drifted apart,
4. that they just need to stay together to raise kids,
5. that the amount of their debt is so huge that they couldn't possibly afford to survive a divorce mainly because there is no equity left of their assets, or
6. that the love's gone out of the relationship,
And if any of the above sounds like your current situation, you should seek professional counseling if you truly feel that there is any chance of staying together or want to try saving your relationship.
Otherwise, you could easily take a fast way out and decide on an "open marriage" where each party go out separately and fuck whoever they desire, and many couples do just that rather than confronting a dire situation. Other couples start thinking about "Swinging", without really knowing what "Swinging" is all about. In either case, sooner or later, they find themselves deeply depressed, without a loving relationship, a life with no meaning and facing other newly developed emotional problems.
Before you decide about a SWINGING lifestyle, you need to answer YES or NO to the following statements.
1. You have a desire to develop a sexual relationship with others outside of your marriage.
2. You just have to go out and do things behind your spouse's/mate's back
3. You are bored with your spouse/mate
4. Your relationship with your spouse/mate depresses you
5. In your view, your spouse/mate has lost her/his attractiveness
6. You have lost that "in love" feeling with your spouse/mate
7. Your consider your spouse/mate an unlikely best friend
8. You have secrets that your spouse/mate knows nothing about. (I'm not talking about a $50.00 bill stashed away in your shoe)
At this point, I should tell you that each spouse/mate may or may not develop into the swinging lifestyle at the same rate. Some spouses are able to grasp the concepts, ideas and adapt faster than others. If you feel that revealing a secret may jeopardize your relationship, hold your peace forever, or until such time when you feel its safe to come out clean.
9. You have a poor verbal communication with your spouse/mate
10. You consider trying to have sex with your spouse/mate a waste of time.
We could go on and on with reasons that point to a marriage in trouble. A "YES" answer to any of the above statements and you'd do better as a cheater, better to apply the open marriage solution to your problems or at best, you are a good candidate for divorce rather than a SWINGER. Under the above circumstances, you may consider yourself a SWINGER WANNABE, but you won't get too far. Going to a couple of swingers' parties won't make you a NEWBIE and going to 20 swingers' parties or more won't make you an EXPERIENCED SWINGER.
Now, ask your spouse to answer YES or NO to the above statements. If you and your spouse answered YES to any (or just one) of the above statements you two should be heading out to a marriage counselor. Do not get into Swinging. Swinging will only make matters a lot worse for you. None of the above are good reasons to enter a Swinging Lifestyle and you'll never be able to reap the benefits of a Swingers' lifestyle unless you are able to clear your problems out of the way first.
If, on the other hand, you have already worked out your marital/relationship problems or you have a good relationship from the beginning, then ask yourself and your spouse to answer YES or NO to the following statements.
1. You have a desire to have a sexual relationship with your spouse/mate and then perhaps engage others as an outlet to spice up an already great relationship.
2. You do everything together (the good, the bad and the ugly) with your spouse/mate and you are both on the same page.
3. You feel entertained and in good spirits with your spouse/mate and the two of you can spend hours together having a good time and never bored with each other
4. Your relationship with your spouse/mate enhances your life
5. Your spouse/mate looks to you as attractive or better than the first day you both met.
6. You are unquestionably "in love" with your spouse/mate
7. Your consider your spouse your best friend
8. You have no secrets with your spouse/mate
At this point, I should tell you that each spouse/mate may or may not develop into the swinging lifestyle at the same rate. Some spouses are able to grasp the concepts, ideas and adapt faster than others. If you feel that revealing a secret may jeopardize your relationship, hold your peace forever, or until such time when you feel its safe to come out clean.
9. You have a healthy and active verbal communication with your spouse/mate
10. You consider having sex with your spouse/mate the ultimate aphrodisiac.
If you and your spouse/mate answered YES to all of the above. You are then excellent candidates to enter the Swinging Lifestyle (but, only after you've had a deep discussion and communication with your spouse/mate about your likes, dislikes, expectations and desires. But, not so fast, there are still some hurdles that you must overcome,
I. NEWBIES IN ACTION
1. Jealousy.
2. Trust
3. Improved Communication
4. Mutual Respect
5. Emotional Reciprocity
6. Learning Cycle.
II. BECOMING SWINGERS
1. Development.
2. Understanding The Rules
3. Respecting The Rules
4. Protecting
III. EXPERIENCED SWINGERS
1. Sexual Enhancement.
2. Respecting Limits
3. Mutual Satisfaction
IV. SEASONED SWINGERS
1. Pushing The Envelope.
2. Fulfillment
V. SINGLES: FEMALES & MALES
I. NEWBIES IN ACTION 1. JEALOUSY. What? Some would say...., Two people in love, they like each other; they are physically, emotionally and sexually attracted to each other. They claim that they are committed and hopelessly attached to each other and yet..., How could they possibly claim that they can have sex with other people without any second thoughts or without inflicting emotional and psychological harm to their loving spouses/mates? Inconceivable!
This is the crucial threshold where swingers part company from conventional wisdom and other peoples' sense of morality. Swingers understand and agree to a credo that SEX and LOVE are two different animals altogether, and that the physical Sex has nothing to do with the emotional aspects of Love. One is purely physiological (sex) while the other is profoundly emotional (love).
People are born, grow to maturity, get older and confront death; most go through life without ever knowing or realizing their full human potential in sexual terms, yet sexuality is the most powerful of all human emotions; sexual drive and a strong need for physiological fullfilment often suppressed by misconcieved, misguided traditions and misunderstood by a warped sense of morality often wrongly intertwined and mingled into society's abnormal rules of what constitutes right and wrong. I say abnormal because there is nothing more normal than human sexuality, or animal sexuality for that matter.
Suppressed sexual behavior and sexual release by any means is simply totally unhealthy and unrealistic. Sexuality is a fact of nature.
I can't give you any examples of reason as to why sex and love are two different things. So, I won't try to justify this belief, it is based on personal belief, on how you define morality. it is based on personal life experiences and on sexuality. Webster's Dictionary defines ~morality~ as a "conformity to ideals of right moral conduct" and it defines ~moral~ as "moral practices and teachings; modes of conduct"; it further defines ~immoral~ as "conflicting with generally or traditionally held moral principles"
"Traditionally held moral principles" are different from one individual to another's way of thinking, but no less relevant in either case. The same holds true to a "conformity to ideals of right moral conduct". What some people define as "right moral conduct" are religious dictates as opposed to other beliefs of worldly or mundane foundation, but of equal relevance.
Some people believe things that seem inconceivable to others, other people have a different sense of morality, others prefer cheating rather than openness, and yet others have different approaches to life itself. Who is right and who is wrong, nobody can say for sure, no matter how hard they try. People may use quotes from a book or books in order to justify their beliefs, but there are many books on many different subjects and book quotations are too easily thrown and pushed into the mainstream.
Why is it that a few years back in some countries schools tried to force left-handed children to be right-handed? They had a belief that left-handedness was abnormal until they were proven wrong. Why is it, in this day and age, that some people are trying to fix the minds of homosexuals when, by all professional and scientific accounts, gays and lesbians are human beings with their own sexual orientation? Why is it, that some people refuse to believe the age of the universe when there are mineralized fossils and other evidence that prove scientific claims? All of the above are controversial beliefs that produce heated arguments and separate people.
Some ignore claims of discovery due to personal believes and beliefs of faith. Nobody can change that. Can anyone explain beliefs in a reasonable fashion? I don't think so. By the same token, most swingers share their own, admittedly, controversial believes, but sometimes less controversial than other, perhaps even more radical theories. No other explanation is necessary.
Jealousy is then left to the individual, understanding what swinging is all about should make jealousy irrelevant. Our intention here is to provide an insight into the Swinging Lifestyle and what motivates people to practice "Swinging" as a way of life.
2. TRUST. When TRUST ends, or is lacking, so ends a marriage in emotional devastation, lack of TRUST equals the end of a business relationship, the end of friendship, end of TRUST means disruption. MISTRUST is also the end of a swinging relationship with your spouse or mate. TRUST is crucial in any relationship. TRUST can make or break a marriage whether we are swingers or not.
You need to promote trust in each other and re-affirm without delay when that trust is threatened or in jeopardy. Do not act in a way that could lead the other party to doubt or to second guess your motives. Be truthful, and show your loyalty, love and dedication to the relationship as you should in any other relationship, especially marriage.
3. IMPROVED COMMUNICATION. If you are swingers or thinking about it, it means that you already have great (not just good, but great) communication with each other. It also means that you can talk about anything with your spouse, openly, honestly and without reservations. It means that your conversations are free of any unsavory remarks, accusations, insults or second guessing of intentions and manipulations.
Your task now is to keep on improving your verbal communication. What you do when you are not swinging at parties is, "swinging" with your wife/husband/mate in the privacy of your own home, dress up as if you were out playing at a sex club and keep the "flame" going at least once a week. Maintain an open line of communication. This is not only good advise for swingers, but for all marriages as well.
4. MUTUAL RESPECT. This should be self-explanatory. We all know about respect, or do we? Respecting the relationship with our life partner is allowing him/her their own space. Instead of questioning their motives, try to understand their intentions.
Unless ulterior motives are present, (anyone could be deceiving in their intentions driven by obscure motives, but given enough time everything reveals itself out in the open, but we are talking about a truthful relationship here) mutual respect becomes evident and a simple explanation goes a long way towards understanding a sexual situation which sometimes could be misinterpreted. Questioning motives include saying to your spouse/mate... "you did this or that because you wanted to get back at me for whatever reason..." When you question motives, people become uncomfortable and anger follows; anger gives way to harsh words and at this point often times the situation gets out of control. Harsh words linger and are detrimental to the relationship.
Instead ask..."What was your intention, were you trying a different approach or something new?" Bring about an open conversation leading to a better understanding of the situation. Swinging is all about sex and such libidinous driven sexual demonstrations are acceptable during swinging parties, events and get togethers. In other words, swinging behavior whatever that may be within previously established limits (more on limits later) are acceptable during a swinging session and it ends immediately after the session is concluded.
Think of swinging as a night out in town; perhaps you go to a club, dance the night away, make jokes, have a good time, maybe get a little tipsy and then you go home to your everyday life, like going to work and back to the things most people do day in and day out. You don't wear your swinging suit 24 hours a day and you don't have SWINGER tattooed on your forehead either, for everyone to see.
5. EMOTIONAL RECIPROCITY. Emotional support is crucial to the swinging lifestyle. (just like any other marriage) Show support, caring, understanding; romanticism goes a long way towards keeping a good healthy relationship.
All marriages should do all of the above. Relationships in the swinging lifestyle are made stronger if you follow these recommendations as well.
6. LEARNING CYCLE. What you have done up to this point is create a solid foundation for your swinging lifestyle. The foregoing should serve as preparation for a marriage/relationship transition into the Swinging Lifestyle. You should, by now, be ready to attend some swinging functions.
My advise at this point is that you go to a commercial sex club and observe different people in different situations. Make your transition a slow and smooth passage as you immerse yourself and your spouse/mate into the Swinging Lifestyle. Observe and learn. This is the time to engage in full discussions with your spouse/mate about likes, dislikes and possible exploration of certain situations.
There is such thing as SOFT SWINGING which is not discussed at length here, however, suffice it to say that SOFT SWINGING entails engaging others for touching, caressing, kissing, masturbation and a whole lot more depending on your imagination, except intercourse or any other type of penetration, almost anything else goes.
In time, you'll be ready to take the next step. Swinging develops in phases or stages and every next step comes naturally with forceful desire and with inevitable crescendo. If the cycle breaks down, you then need to go back review and re-assess your steps. Something went wrong along the way.
II. BECOMING SWINGERS 1. DEVELOPMENT.Your transition is now well under way and the desire for experimentation is very strong. You are ready to take the plunge into a Swingers situation, like swingers parties, get togethers and events with limited participation as allowed by the host/hostess at any function. (observe self-control)
Take it slow. Sexual lust can get out of control very easily and you need to adjust and digest your new experiences; adapt and adopt what works for you and discard situations that either make you and your spouse/mate feel uncomfortable and/or do-not-as-yet understand. You are still exploring, experimenting, learning and adjusting to a new way of life.
2. UNDERSTANDING THE RULES. There are basic rules that most swingers groups abide by, (Under no circumstances should you or your spouse/mate deviate from these simple rules at swingers functions)
You must be of legal adult age - 18 or over in the USA (no explanation necessary)
Be polite and respectful of others at all times (no explanation necessary)
Respect others' limits. Don't be Pushy. Promote easy going and relaxed atmosphere. (Swingers have limits for themselves. Some limits may include, safe sex only, no anal penetration, etc. find out what the limits are before you engage another person in any sexual situation)
No drugs. (no explanation necessary)
NO means NO, "not maybe" (do as much, or as little as you'd want, and feel free to say "NO") When you go to swingers party or event, you'll find that people engage who they want and with whom they feel comfortable. Its entirely possible that one night at a swingers event may not bring any action for you, simply because others, (men or women) for whatever reason, do not wish to engage you sexually. Do not take it personally it this happens to you. It happens simply because you are new within the group and they don't know you.
We recommend that you bring condoms. When you go to a swingers function as a NEWBIE which mainly means that you are there to observe only, make sure you tell the host/hostess that you are a NEWBIE.
Avoid the embarrassment of trying to pass as an Experienced Swingers because others can become aware of your deception. As a NEWBIE, if you decide that you'd like to engage in some participation, ask the host/hostess if they'd allow you to participate to some extent. Avoid making comments or remarks toward others.
MEN SHOULD NOT TOUCH A WOMAN UNLESS SHE HAS GIVEN YOU A CLEAR INDICATION THAT SHE WANTS YOU TO ENGAGE HER IN SOME MANNER OR FORM. WOMEN, INCLUDING NEWBIES ARE ALLOWED MORE LEVERAGE AT SWINGERS FUNCTIONS.
3. RESPECTING THE RULES. Simply stated, If don't abide to the rules of the groups, you'll be asked to leave immediately. Enough said.
4. PROTECTION.
The Basics Put simply, the single most effective thing you can do to stay healthy when swinging is to use latex condoms for intercourse; this practice is now extremely common in the swinging community, and is often expected. All condoms are not made alike; people, especially men should experiment with different brands until they find the one they like best When you put on a condom, pinch its tip as you unroll it (all the way down!) to prevent an air bubble from forming in the reservoir tip.
For intercourse. you should then put some water-based lube (such as KY or Astroglide) on the outside of the condom for comfort, mutual pleasure, and to keep the condom from tearing during sex. It should be obvious that a new condom needs to be put-on for each new partner. If you're going to switch from anal intercourse to vaginal intercourse, you should also put on a new condom (doing otherwise can cause vaginal infections - similarly, you shouldn't put any fingers that used to be in the anus or in a vagina without first washing your hands with hot water and anti-bacterial soap). Some men find that more sensation is transmitted to them if they put a drop of water-based lube on the tip of their condom before putting it on.
Oral Sex. Many swingers dismiss any concerns because the risk of transmission via this route is apparently low, and because HIV is not widespread in the swingers community. Ultimately, it is up to each of us to set our personal standards for risk. You can make things safer for yourself by not having flossed your teeth immediately before sex (which can make the gums less able to keep pathogens out of the bloodstream), by not letting men come in your mouth, by not performing cunnilingus on a woman while she is menstruating.
Hands. If you've had your fingers in someone's vagina or ass, or had someone come on your hands, it's a good idea to wash your hands with hot water and anti-bacterial soap (use diluted peroxide after washing if you use regular soap) before touching your eyes or genitals (or anybody else's).
Safe Sex Kits
Carry your safe-sex supplies, your small bottle of water-based lube a little bottle with peroxide is excellent anti-bacterial for cleansing your mouth, pieces of paper to write your name and phone number on, and anything else you commonly need. Although safe-sex supplies are provided at some parties, it's still nice to know that you have with you the supplies and brands you prefer. Also, having what you need with you at all times will make it much easier for you to maintain whatever safe-sex standards you have chosen.
Vaccinations. You may be interested in knowing that a permanent vaccine is available for hepatitis B. If you're planning on spending a lot of time in the swinging community (or any other lifestyle potentially involving lots of sex with different people), it might be worth your time to get this vaccination.
III. EXPERIENCED SWINGERS Sexual Enhancement. Becoming an experienced swinger has nothing to do with how many swingers events and functions you have attended, although it becomes advisable that you attend a diverse spectrum of swinging situations and events. It makes no difference if you have attended 20 or 200 events.
Experience depends on your mental disposition and how much knowledge you have acquired during the process. A healthy, responsible attitude and a good relationship with your partner make the whole difference as opposed to just a desire for fucking other men or women.
At this point, you have reached a full understanding of the swinging lifestyle, self-control, proper behavior, both partners know exactly what to expect from each other, their likes and dislikes, their limits >>> how far they can go, both partners enjoy EQUAL FREEDOM TO DO AS THEY PLEASE within their own previously established understanding (limits). For example, if the couple has agreed on SAFE SEX only; the man or woman in the relationship should not go and do barebacking (unprotected sex) on her/his own. Doing something against a prior agreement represents a major betrayal that will invariably place undue stress on the relationship.
Unreasonably restricting a partner's ability for enjoyment is not what the lifestyle is about. Reasonable and agreeable restrictions should be the norm. EQUAL enjoyment is the goal and a degree of mutual satisfaction should be equally shared by the couple.
Respecting Limits. Respecting the limits of other swingers is understandable and paramount in any swinging situation. Respecting limits set by a couple in a relationship is another thing altogether.
We are more easily prone to violate and push the limits of our partner beyond acceptable borders. Why.....? because we feel that our infraction will be forgiven just as easily. But, not so; swinging takes a life of its own and violations of preset arrangements and previously agreed upon limits are likely to provoke a mixed bag of emotions the likes of which are rarely experienced in a relationship; they include anger, betrayal, deeply felt scorn, feelings of treachery, disloyalty and worse, such violation demonstrates unfair play and unfair advantage; nothing short of abuse and worse "breach of trust" The situation could disrupt your lifestyle for a long time. Respecting all limits, our own, and that of others is crucial for a successful swinging relationship and community acceptance.
Mutual Satisfaction. Both partners should be mindful of what constitutes mutual satisfaction within the relationship and must put forth the utmost possible effort to ensure each other's sexual satisfaction.
A couple in tune with each other knows what buttons to push in order to make her/his partner sexually excited and completely satisfied with each experience. It's a two way street. If the man or woman is perfectly content with visual excitement as in the case of voyeurs (observers), as an example, then the other partner should provide that type of visual stimulation and exhilaration during the performance of his/her favorite sexual enjoyment.
IV. SEASONED SWINGERS. Pushing The Envelope. Congratulations! you have traveled a long journey to get to this point. You are now at the threshold to a whole new world of possibilities that are available to you. Acquired knowledge and experience are the combination that made it possible and you are now ready to unlock a universe of experiences that heretofore you never knew existed or even dreamed possible. Your fantasies are about to come true in real terms. You have created a solid foundation that will support unsuspected accomplishments.
Invariably, the swinging lifestyle takes you through a well traveled path where exploration and new experiences keep coming your way with an ever increasing force of lust and desire, once inside the lifestyle, it can not be avoided because every new trial leads to a more potent act of intense sexuality. You will find yourself, almost unconsciously, pushing the envelope for new adventures in a never ending quest that will last a lifetime. It becomes second nature and intrinsically, a part of you.
Fulfillment.Your rewards; a solid relationship, mastering every aspect of your sexuality, experiencing your most intimate desires, a deep knowledge of yourself and your relationship; the ability to release inner passions, no matter how wild or extreme, in a friendly setting where your sexual display and outward excitement are always well received, accepted/understood and knowing your temporary limits.
You should know that most limits are temporary because you will always get to a point where your limits no longer fulfill your newly found capacity for more. You'll experience increased sensuality, sexuality, increased provocative behavior, lusty desire and calculated lewdness. Your new task is to direct, adjust and adapt your newly developed sexual enhancements according to your wishes and desires.
You might say that Swinging is a valid and viable medium where married or unmarried couples, aside from the obvious physiological and psychological needs, are able to satisfy and to fullfil burning desires as well as other critical aspects of sexuality which may include such defining words and phrases as, pressing urgency, critical cravings, burning needs, fiery wishes, flaming yearnings, inner force, vital enjoyment, essential gratification, crucial fulfillment, compulsory satisfaction, indulgence, pleasure, delight. All deeply ingrained traits of human nature.
V. SINGLE WOMEN AND MEN. Single women and single men are frequently found as active participants at swingers functions, parties and events. Single females are freely invited to participate at most Sex Clubs and all kinds of swingers' events. Nowadays, except Sex Clubs that do not allow single men, most swingers' groups and events do allow a limited number of single males. There are certain restrictions, for example,
Single Females. Most single females are welcome to participate at most events and some theme events like Bisexual parties would only allow bisexual females, or BBW (Big Beautiful Women) single females are allowed at BBW parties, etc. In general, single females do not have any problems to participate at swingers' events.
Single Males. Sex clubs do not allow single males, no exceptions. Other swingers groups, parties and events do allow single males on a limited basis. However, single males without a female companion find it difficult to join swingers' events. Most interracial and gangbang parties request Black, White, Hispanics or other ethnic single males and do not allow others. The reason for this is that most women and couples at interracial and gangbang events request Hung Black males.
Sometimes gangbang parties request hung males of any race. I won't get here into personal believes that members of one ethnic group are better endowed than others. I really have no idea if this is true or not (i.e.) a greater percentage of one ethnic group is better physically endowed, but reality is that many women of all ethnic groups do believe that this is true, my wife included.
Normally, bisexual parties and events do allow men of all ethnic groups, especially when the events are for women who enjoy watching male to male action or strap-on women events.
SINGLE SWINGERS.It really doesn't make much difference if singles (female or male) that participate at swingers' events are swingers or not, or if they only participate out of a desire to engage others in a sexual activity. But, singles are always requested to observe the rules of the swinging community and they should know what type of behavior is accepted or not. Singles are also requested to know what is expected of all participants. Singles should read this entire writing in order to know about all swingers and the swingers' community.
Any single (male or female) who wants to know if they are truly swingers or not, should ask themselves the following questions,
1. Would you marry a male or female swinger and continue the lifestyle as a swinging couple? or,
2. Once married, would you as a couple not engage others for sex under any circumstances? or,
3. Once married, would you be a cheater while demanding your husband or wife to remain faithful to you?
The answer to these questions should provide an indication to you whether you are a true swinger or not. But, it doesn't really end here,
Oftentimes, engaging a swinging lifestyle becomes a transition for many couples. While its true that consumate swingers (males or females) look for other swingers to tie the knot in marriage, couples that start out in marriage in a monogamous relationship will become swingers after a few years of married life and for many different reasons. The key to a successful swinging lifestyle remains based on trust, good communication and an excelent relationship.
